The Sexiest 3 Words a Man Can Say to a Woman

Life: Between the lines:

By far, the most orgasmic Saturday morning of my life. Finally a man who totally gets it. Do read the entire blog, you sure will learn or concur:

Best way a man can spell love to ME.

“I’ve always had so many messages coming at me that women are my equals in every way. That’s a good thing from a certain perspective. Women are equal to men, in terms of inherent human worth and value. They should have every legal right that any man has.

However, my understanding of sex equality completely overlooked certain ways my more feminine female partners and I were genuinely different. We yearned differently, meaning we experienced the world in rather different ways, even wanting different things from each other. For example, just holding a woman and making love with her is often a different experience for me than it is for my partners.

I don’t embrace a woman to feel safe in her arms. When I embrace her I feel strong in my body, masterful even, as though I’m living my purpose by wrapping her up safe and protected within my steady arms. My female partners, in contrast, have often expressed that’s what they love most about being in my embrace: the experience of feeling safe, physically and emotionally, that they can relax in knowing they’re protected in that one moment from the tiresome chaos of the world. It’s as if we both journeyed from very different worlds to secretly rendezvous in this one moment of exquisite embrace.

Failing too often to account for such differences, I have struggled in most of my intimate relationships with women. Clearly a contributing factor has been my inability to step up in all kinds of situations and say to my partners—often even to myself—“I got this.”

Originally posted on This Wild Waking Journey:

sexiest 3 words a man can say photo by Sean Mcgrath“I love you.” (nope)

“You look beautiful.” (nope)

“Let’s go shopping!” (depends how you say it, but still, no)

“How’s your mother?” (no, this will just make her suspicious of you)

Those are all nice to say, and many women want to hear them from their partner; they like to feel cherished. But none of those by themselves will necessarily have her soften all warm-putty-like into your hairy masculine arms.

The three sexiest words I’m referring to speak to primal forces within both men and women. An archetypal trip wire, these eight letters strung together can trigger a man’s spine to straighten and make a woman swoon.

I wish I could say I figured this one out by myself, but a lady friend had to point this out. Once she did, I looked back to my own intimate relationships and saw overwhelming evidence for her case everywhere.

We were having…

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To settle or date older men?


This guy stated: “I’m 41 years old and my girlfriend is 23 with a degree. I don’t date older women because they have boobs that hang to their stomach covering their vagina. You can’t even figure out where it is and older women nag too much”.

I’m an older woman.

I raised my eyebrows, but it is not the first nor the last time a man has or would say such things. And men are extremely confident in who, what they want. Can I blame them that they care less how these will negatively impact the women who hear such statements? They don’t care. Men don’t care because they know they are God, nothing a woman, the world can tell them that would make them think less of themselves. This is most men of course, or they hide the hurt quite well. Women however, we hear such things and go get liposuction, breast lift, implants and learn to shut up. What people say about us hurt us. We are too emotional, too fragile, too sensitive.

Unless that woman is just like a man, or has learned that people are unmindful, especially men. They don’t see how their negative vibes create this butterfly effect. He said it. I bring it to you. You’ll read it and probably discuss it with others and so on. Women are already focused on physical attributes unaware that men are the root of our poor self-image.

But I don’t want you to take that negative vibe at all. I hope you read this and learn who you are, what your strengths are. I hope you look at the men who say these things like the scums of the earth who should remain with young women who would take all their monies and dump them in a nursing facility and never visit them.

Forgive me for being human.

Yes, we are allowed to like who we like. Most women are judged when we say we would like a man who can provide and take care of us. You are a gold digger if you do. But think about this. Men don’t come after you to give, but to take. Every time a man courts you, it is because he sees something in you he wishes to conquer, captivate, behold, enjoy, admire. And if, along the way, that something becomes so necessary to his well-being, yeah, uhm, you, huh huh! Yes, your person of course, then he will do everything in his power to keep it, manage it, behold it. You and whatever it is in you he enjoys would be worth the trouble, the hassle. It may be because you have perky boobs, flat abs, a sexy ass, or it may be because you never say much or you don’t challenge him, or you don’t ask him for anything then his godly self on your couch as he plays Nintendo all day and pokes women on face book. And of course, it may be your amazing personality that lights up his day or your eloquence or your charismatic self. My dear, whatever it is, he is with you because you bring something to the table. I hope you learn what that is. When that is gone or not enough for him, he may likely walk or continue sticking around, out of laziness or habit but his heart will not be in it anymore. And I have to say that applies to women as well. Many of us stay in relationships where we don’t want to remain either out of a sense of duty, laziness, lest I forget moral or Christian mandate. We do stay as we feel saintly for doing so, possibly.

So my dear sisters, when you go into a relationship, why do you go with your heart and not your mind? Why do you care or love a man just because? Just because doesn’t last. What is he bringing to you? Don’t be with a man unless he meets your requirements.

And I have to say most men can’t or won’t meet many of our requirements. Most often than not, they don’t because:

1) We are unclear with ourselves as to what we really NEED

2) When we do know, we don’t stand our ground. We don’t demand what we NEED (society labels us so much, ie, gold digger, whore, nag, etc so they can shut us down, to stifle us, or they spew these romantic notions that are not practical at all)

3) We tend to settle too often and too quickly (there goes that darn clock ticking)

4) We believe in fairy tales. Oh! He will change. Oh! I can adapt, he has other qualities. No, no, no. If these qualities, though nice, don’t make you happy, you will never be satisfied. That equates to misery. Who needs that!

And when you hear a man say things like this guy did, you will smile and acknowledge that it is his prerogative and go seek yours. No hurt feelings.

FYI: I would love a man who has no family members, no children, is a millionaire, is 6 feet and up, with multiple homes all over the world, owns a boat, loves to work out, enjoys reading books, not just newspapers, can communicate, can iron, cooks, gives a great massage, gives me everything I want and need, enjoys every genre of music, is Christian, loves my kids, has washboard abs, is excellent in bed, speaks four languages, and can make Mandingo jealous. Also, I hope he’s available to take me dancing on the 26 of November, I need a date ASAP. I’m sending this prayer, to God, to the universe, to the online powers that be…


Until then, my saggy boobs, my one pack ab older self will keep on nagging older men or keep on settling with the 24 and 27-year-old babes who keep me smiling. Kids!! Gotta love their exuberance, their joie de vivre.

Happy weekend y’all!!

A resting place


A house is where you sleep
A home is where you rest

I am weary
More so restless

I have this homeless friend
He lives on a corner’s bend

There’s no place to go
I ask why it has to be so

He stands asking for meat
I bow my head in defeat

Day after day, cardboard in hand
Begging, begging for an end

There’s no reason
We seek a beacon

Beckoning for tomorrow
No more, no more sorrow!

I sit aside
You think me blind

I see, I see you friend
Together, until the end

I lay my head inside this house
Feeling blue, quiet as a mouse

Thinking of you
What I must do

Beneath the open sky, north, south, east to west
All we want is a place, to rest

L. 10/28/14 0708
For the man with the cardboard at the corner of once upon a time!!!

Aimless wanderer


Et bien alors tout a change. Je ne pourrais vous dire si c’est pour le meilleur ou pour le pire. Je le ressens et des fois cela m’attriste.

I’m living the life of observer. I’m here but really I’m not. Things are happening around me but I can’t say I’m experiencing them. Does that make sense? I’m living outside of myself. I can’t describe it and wish I could.

I look at people and wonder why they are so bothered or so busy doing nothing. They think it is something, that all this has meaning when nothing really matters.

I see them discussing Ebola. Why? You get it, you may live or die. But that was always a given. Life is if and or, may or may not. The predictability or fate of an occurrence weighs heavily on hindsight.

I read this entire essay recently on why Claire Huxtable must die on the drunk feminist site and why we, African Americans should embrace Liv, Analise and Mary Jane. The writer was in a tizzy, obsfucated. These people are fictitious characters!!! Do our lives, our existence really come to characterizations based on television penned from the imagination!

So, I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed by it all. We are busy doing nothing that will ultimately change the outcome of existence. We believe we are contributing something to society, that we matter but then what? What else! A legacy? And then you’re forgotten. So, maybe we decide to take, take of whatever we can, because we realize it doesn’t matter, does it? And if it does, who do we trust to tell us?

I spent over an hour talking with someone. Truth is, she talked I listened. And my few interjections were thwarted. She was busy, busy repeating the same things I had heard millions of time before. She had no time for anything or anyone else. I was the slate upon which she will spew her distaste, her pain. I played the role. I listened. She needed that.

But what did I need!? She could have asked how I was. How was I? How am I?


I’m changed.

I remember the last time I felt that life had meaning or purpose, that giving her my two cents will get her out of her rut. I remember the last time I laughed and really truly believed that life is worth something you know.

Last day it felt good to be alive.

Last day it felt good to be alive.

That’s the illusion we all live, daily. We wake up and think oh I’m alive and I’ll make the best of it. We keep repeating the motions of living, over and over and over again with only one end in sight. We were at the end before we even started. In the end, it ends and not one thing will last as you knew it.

And I sit, within my skin. I take it all in, I nod my head and laugh. I laugh at the automatons that we are.

Mais la vie, c’est un risque extraordinaire!

This much is true: love never dies!

Every love song has your name inscribed.

Every sad song, heartbreak song brings you to mind.
There’s such a thing as forever love. You showed me how.

No matter how angry I get when I think about the things you did, or how hurt I was by your Machiavellian ways, I smile every time in my heart. Because it is you.

I could read your words over and over, the manipulations. Yet, I will smile.

There is this mean little child in you that comes to play, even when your mind knows you’re being bad. It is as if you can’t even stop yourself. You thrive on the power at making people do things for you and make them like it, even when they don’t even understand why they do so.

You’re badass and you know it.

I cry, but I love you. No matter the impact or destruction you leave behind I will always love you. When I hear them, I smile and think “that’s my baby, he’s at it again.” Gosh! How many times I wises you weren’t so contrived. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be you, would you?

It is those smarts of yours, the confidence blended with s hint of child-like mannerisms that define you. But you are more than that too. You know it. Everyone who has met you knows it. You could be so much more than stuck in potential. And when that sweetness of yours peeps!!! By God! We are in awe and ravaged by it. So, today, I hear another love song and think: “Man, I love this kid.” No matter where you are, what trouble you get yourself into, I understand it is the journey you chose. I wish you’re happy, today, always, and forever.

I don’t think you would ever comprehend the depth of my love, or what I’ve given not once, but twice just because of you. Ou se neg mwen an vre! If I could have wished you on a star, you would have never come out half as perfect.