Where you’ll find me!


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Because of love I stand

For lips that haven’t been kissed,
mouth that hasn’t lied.
For cheeks, rosy and dry,
eyes that mark me inside.
For skin, untouched,
but heart that bleeds.
For arms that stay empty,
and fingers bursting with fervor.

I stand

Even but a moment. because of love
For love. I stand firm. Alone. Healed.
Love made me. Believe.
Love had me. Say no.
Love gave me. Happiness. Peace.

Because of love. I stand.

I am here

L. 02/14/15 0954

Kindness is slowly vanishing. We are turned upside down by belief. Should we get lost in ideology over people? We fail to care for those, like us, are trying to be the best they can be with what has been gifted or cursed to us all: breath.

RIP
Hashem Shabaani
Tullie
Kayla Mueller

The docent of Hades


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they said
he died of heartbreak and sorrow
spent!
hell-bent on (repent-tense)

a stance,
anchored on mosaic-yesterdays
floating on molasses and blues

his mind, a humidor for sentences
not given, uttered, nonetheless served

in seconds

compartments of guilt and regret laced with
arsenic-remembrance
forays of absinthe-absences

none could tell when life gave him up
or when he found the way to redemption
on this journey of punches between forgetfulness, regret, freedom

Pounding. Pounding.
Pounding. Pounding.

Heart-beats.
Away!
Gone!

free indeed!
free is he!

weep no more!
lulled no more!
one thing for sure,
true to his core,
he swam ashore.
to fly above,

on the wings of heartbreak and sorrow.

L. 01/31/15 0142

 

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Unshed!


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Men tears

I collect them!

in buckets
drained over the years
from sunny days
inside their smiles

I collect them!

unshed
not even in my bed
sweet, salted wounds
bottled up monsoons

I collect them!

in solitude
wind-blown quietude
laid down liaisons
feels like a mission

I collect them!

Men tears!

parting words
never heard
salted and sweet
purged down cheeks to my feet

I collect them!

from them that can’t let go
of those who won’t say no
gifted in long embrace
wrapped in moonlight lace

Men tears!

I collect them!

L. January 18, 2015 1800

 

Those who don’t allow themselves to cry pass the hurt onto others who will!

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Hustle and consequences


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To the best part of my being here!

I want to believe that the energy we send when we think about someone and meditate on his name, does reach that person. You make me want to believe in the impossible, the unthinkable.

It has been a few weeks since you have been on my mind. I hover across time, pulling out memories you left behind. They were always sweet, kind. Man! How I appreciated you! I don’t think you’ll ever be able to comprehend how your thoughtfulness affected every particle of my being.

You are exceptional. I don’t know many people who will make time for me and my family. You did. You left business dealings, adjourned meetings to spend time with us. You were the sole person to welcome me to this state, this city. You’d say “hey, Nydsie, I’ll show you around. I’ll show you my Florida.” You took us to the places you loved, frequented. You made sure to call us and see how we were doing at least every two weeks. You understood what it meant to be alone and no family around us. You embraced us.

I miss you so much!

I miss the girls jumping all over you and you lifting them both on your shoulders together so they won’t be jealous. Do you know they still remember all the lessons you taught them about boys, dating, saving money and loving each other.

The girls miss you so much.

You were the best part to moving here although you weren’t even part of the plan. Boy! You are so giving. I know you had that savior complex I used to tease you about, but honey it is what makes you so memorable, so good. How you saved me from sad days, loneliness and the tears! I am who I am today because of you. You held me up when I was wreak and refused to take the credit.

I would give anything to know you’re okay, to know where you are, to know you’re happy.

I knew what you were up to you wished to keep us away from and one day will take you from us. I wished you believed enough and took the leap to trust. You could only be who you are. No matter how imperfect you believe yourself to be, how dirty, nasty and cruel the life you lead is, they don’t and will never take away how wonderful you truly are.

I miss you B.!

Surely, the universe will make sure you’re surrounded by the loving energy we continually send your way.

Hope you’re aight!!!

You were worth it!

Dare to live!


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Dawn declares another day
what if, you too go away,
embedded in the margins of yesterday!

Wilted, to mean much more
than smoke bellowing off a chimney?

Does the moon shade the sun,
or the sun the stars?
do they string across the firmament?

many some-days, but only just one day to my dismay?

You want me unafraid
when promises rest between heartbeat and breath?

To succumb
catch fate unaware?
do I dare, do I dare?

L. 01/7/15

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I hovered over your name today. I almost contacted you. A moment of weakness I am sure, then I recall how you weren’t kind to me. We all leave footprints, yours were hurtful. I remembered why I let go.