I’m not sad or even angry anymore.
I have stopped asking “why me?”, “why not me?” I’ve stopped wondering whether it will stop or how long it will go on.
Too busy, too busy holding on!
I don’t look back anymore, what I lost, where it all went wrong. I can’t. I really am not able to. Hindsight is not a friend.
Emptied of dreams, hope, wishes, sadness is a luxury and wanting a burden.
I need every breath, every thought bent to my will. I don’t know where I’m going, just where I’ve been. This much I know I don’t want to rehash the past, go back to what was, I’m not that person anymore. Yeah! I haven’t been sad in a long long time.
Eyes wide I am learning to be.
Stillness my strength.
You know what I’ve learned from watching boulders, wherever I go. Rain, wind, hail storms, thunder or snow…there they rest!!! Wherever they are, they remain and if by might they’re shifted, they stay.
There are no emotions in being. I’m not sad. I am numb, numbed of life, of hopes, of me, of feeling.