This is how I am.
Who am I? An overthinker?
I’m an overthinker of the worst kind, totally detached and that’s how I tend to see the world, people, everything around me. I don’t speak from feelings. In all my years of life, no matter how many times I explain this, those who have met me can’t grasp it. I’m beginning to understand why. They are not like me. People view others on the prism of who they are and their own understanding.
Insert total annoyance there. Yep! Feelings! These quickly replaced by WTF! “I don’t care anyhow.” I’m bothered by folks tiptoeing in my thoughts. I’m so self absorbed, so lost in words and thoughts when they come to me with assumptions, objections, denial or obsfucation, initially these prompt further inquiry but then annoyance sets in.
Because I am the way I am I tend not to take things literally. I do “not” take anything at face value. Yes, I will go into social mode, do what must to acknowledge whatever it is, but best believe my mind is running a mile a minute trying to perceive all angles, even those the other is completely oblivious to. Well, until I highlight it of course. 😁
And so it goes that after I post this thought above on my IG, someone questioned that I’m private, extremely private. Now I’ll give you a glimpse if you can even grasp this much. Think about this: if you believe what I post is all of me and makes me public, or you know men anyone who posts anything on social media, then we are not as complex a being as humans are. People are complex. Most do what they do for a reason. It’s often more calculated than we give them credit for.
Even the Kardashians are private people. Chew on that!!
Do you get it? Maybe not! Because someone shares pics of their children does this make them so public that you feel you know everything about them and that because you hide the fact you have 100 kids by ten different mothers, you’re so private. Are you ashamed or being private?
Read this: The level of privacy is defined by what’s left out, the unknown. Many who can’t be open about what is insignificant or magnify everything about their lives to be more than it really is, lack confidence in who they are. We are all private beings. Some are more comfortable in their skin than others so they share the bits they feel comfortable with. Just because you’re not comfortable sharing pics of your children or your spouse doesn’t make you more private than another?
You may object depending on what side of the spectrum you fall. I get it. No judgement on my part. It’s just a fact. If you hide every bit that you are it’s because you can’t handle the glare. You’re frail, fragile. Fragility causes you to be secretive, attributing strength or a higher level of moral code by believing being secretive ahem private is code for higher moral code, that you’re oh so better and calculating than others who can, are able to share whatever and be okay under the lenses of everyone’s perception. It doesn’t make them any less private about what they deem private does it?
Philosophical me I guess! Let’s agree on these definitions shall we:
“Privacy: the state or condition of being “FREE” from being disturbed by other people.” I removed observed. One can observe yet not truly see, or understand, right? 😆
“Private: belonging to or for the use of one particular person or group of people only.”
“Calculating: acting in a scheming and ruthlessly determined way. To compute, estimate, plan, devise, carefully think about and planning actions for selfish and improper reasons.”
Yep! Don’t let us fuck with your head with what’s on social media. Take a chill pill will yah! Stop believing everything you read. Geez, Louisie!!
We get a glimpse of others’ thoughts, what they share, it’s more so we can add to this bucket of “perspectives” that life gifts us with. It’s to create awareness or bind us to this whole thing called life. The human experience is so different for each person. Enjoy it, do not confine it to your sole understanding.