Splitting the sea!


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Ever faced your worst nightmare and greatest fear?
We often don’t speak them out loud but we walk with them with every run towards a goal.
We don’t reach to attain as much as we reach to constrain: fear, nightmares, storms. We want what we want and wish not for what we want not.
A few months ago I was one of them, working hard, running away from my greatest fears. Despite all that I wished and worked for, my greatest fears came to pass. Hence, I now know that no matter how much how strive, what will be will be!! Life happens no matter how much we plan!
I’ve lived through divorce, separation, rejection, loneliness, slowness, without friends or companionship, lost and rebuilt my credit (my credit score is my husband I swear), being fired, taking any type of jobs despite being too highly educated, being broke, becoming dependent, having to ask for help. Oh! The storms I’ve been through!!! The worst things I could ever imagine would happen to me that I worked to never happen to me!!
Weather folks put the scare of hell on our doorstep before Irma. My babies were looking at me for direction, what to do, where to go. If you’ve ever been broken down to your last bit of willpower you’ll understand how little you have in you to give. Children can’t grasp that. They look upon you to adult, provide, guide. Who cares where you get your strength, will or guidance!!! You must rise when needed.
I feared not Irma or the potential damage to material goods. I’ve weathered through too many of the unimaginable for that. If my babies could make it unharmed, we would be okay and even if God willed for them or me not to make it through, it would also be okay as well. That’s the direction I could give them and did. Stay where we are and handle what is! There’s no greater form of maturity than ownership. Owning your moment, the time, your actions, your present and future. Own them all. Face the storm!
We were not to imagine what could be or fear what could go wrong but accept whatever comes. Whatever will be, will be and it’s okay no matter what. We ought not to fight against the odds set against us but shoulder the hardships, the downfall, the breakdowns yet keep moving on. I won’t even call them setbacks, but “presents”. Rhe presebt is all therr is baby. Worry not about tomorrow for tomorrow will be its own “presence.”
Occurrences, good or bad should be handled like the air we breathe. After all its not what happens to us that makes us but how we handle what life throws at us.
In these past few years I have learned no matter how difficult the hardship, have no fear. Fear doesn’t change what is, modify what will be or solve anything at all.
The gift for year 2017: I’m no longer a slave to fear. No matter the outcome Imma be okay. It’s not for me to like or dislike what happens, it’s up to me to make what I wish with the “present”.
Shabbat shalom!!

 

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