Standing alone




There is this romanticism about singleness and being alone. I came across the above quote which may have been written as a show of strength or some idea that aloneness comes mainly by choice. 

This may be so when you do have support or you choose to remove yourself from a bad relationship or situation. It is not necessarily true. Once I read it, I was prompted to do a search on “being alone”, “standing alone” or just “alone”, a few pages in and I couldn’t find any thought on Aline’s by happenstance.

We are not made to be alone, to be an island. Solitary confinement has proved the affect on the psyche. Were we to be alone, it wouldn’t. However no research has yet proved companionship damages our mental health. This in itself supports the fact it is the best way to be, within community, more so than alone.

I stand alone and have stood alone because I have no other choice. In all the years moving about I haven’t found my tribe, people I can relate to on any meaningful level. It isn’t that I haven’t tried either. I’ve done the meetups things, the church thing, the social sites thing, the multiple dating apps thing, it just has jot worked.

I stand alone because I have no one. I stand alone because if I don’t I will crumble. I will lose my home, my sanity and can’t support my family. To crumble is to give in to the dreadful impact of isolation. Isolation increases the risk of mortality, increases risk of dementia and the likelihood of physical illnesses such as chronic lung disease, arthritis, impaired mobility, high blood pressure. It promotes depression, the feeling of not belonging. People who have stood alone tends to remain alone as they age, losing social skills and developing the inability to relate to others.

Yes it is great to be independent and stand strong when need be. We shouldn’t paint a rosy picture about handling things alone. It is not all it is cracked up to be in the end. It is okay to depend on others, to fall back and allow yourself to be taken care of, allow someone to take the lead sometime. In these days when most rely on social media for fake connections, we should have learned that nothing replaces true interactions, hanging out with friends, doing things as aground, finding companionship and building long lasting friendship. 

Standing alone is good sometimes but don’t reside there please.