Difficult times define character.
I am a person stuck in details. The minutiae excite me. They do particularly when they are consistent. However, there are times, extraordinary instances, absent of consistency when details give me a feeling of warmth as well.
In these moments, I behold the men who saw not themselves, the slights of time but come through for the greater good. By coming through I speak about doing, not reaching. To these men, men weakened by pain caused by divorce, baby mama drama, losses that made them run away I will say I applaud you for showing up. It is never too late to DO what is right.
For doing, in doing, I want you to know, I see you. Some of us see you and thank you.
To the brother who left his job in a snow storm while going through a nasty divorce to go to the woman’s home to shovel the snow before the children got home with their mom. I see you!
To the brother whose baby mama refuses to let him see his kids despite having shared custody, yet sent his friends to board up her house and bring food for them during the hurricane, I see you.
To the brother who was so hurt his wife left him and took the house, the children and the money they had in the bank to be with his best friend, who stopped all contact thereafter yet manages to call before the hurricane to make sure the children need of nothing, to hear their little voices and reassure them he loves them. It’s a first step, keep it up. I see you. Keep trying!
To the brother who is not working but came to board up windows, install shutters because his kids live there although he can’t afford to pay his back child support. I see you.
To the brother who got the flashlight, rain coats, life vest, batteries, charcoal, a generator and dropped them off so his children will be without a thing during the storm. I see you.
To the man who loves you so much he had a generator delivered to your home so you’ll be okay in the storm, and thereafter, although he is not with you. I see you.
I acknowledge these men, sometimes at fault, mostly misunderstood who are growing into wisdom, learning what caring and love mean.
Love is putting the other before our pain.
There’s no greater love than loving your children. Protecting and providing are a part of love. You can’t use words like love and these two are missing in the equation. You don’t have to be rich to provide or physically strong to protect. Most of all, don’t do these for others, for ego or compliment. Do them because of love, because you love.
Even when your children have been trained not to love you, have heard disparaging things about you, when they grow up, they’ll start to understand all the ways you did show up. And the men who love and protect the one they love, not a child, but the one who has your heart even when you’re not together, when you show up in ways that provide and care, it means a lot.
It is men like you who lessen the mistrust I’ve developed regarding men. It’s men like you who have me believing that not all men are bad. Your actions matter. You matter to us, those you may not see or notice. Thank you, thank you! These things make you a good loving man.