It isn’t that I’m lonely as much as I’m alone. The weeks aren’t getting easier. I’m weakened by the effort of making the best of things so we may hot fall under. Yet, I’m counting the days in the back of my mind when freedom will open her arms.
No one understands, not even my mama who for a fact does love me, I’m burdened by duty. I’m tied by loyalty. I don’t want to fuck up. Not anymore. Not now. Not ever. I want to be free though.
Being practical the next recourse is a move for elevation. It kills me that I’m held back and down.
I spent the morning drowning in my tears, screaming to the skies and above. Someone asked if I’m okay.
Don’t do that! Who goes to a stranger sharing tales? Who does that, especially when you already know you’re a rare breed and no one will understand!!!!
On the bright side, I’m not analyzing what’s going on. I’m too busy drowning for thought. I find myself wishing karma exited though. But I know I’m just fooling myself into oblivion.